Life is full of irony. I wrote an article last month on bullying -- what it looks like these days, how it differs between boys and girls, and ways to put the brakes on verbal and physical harassment.
The topic was fresh in my mind as I had just been talking with several moms about bullying occurring between girls in a local second grade class. It amazed me to hear that mean behavior and manipulation was occurring so early in life -- in 7 year old kids! How can someone who welcomes Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny purposely cause another child pain?
Then the concept of bullying hit closer to home last week when I discovered our own middle school son was getting harassed on a daily basis. He didn't even tell us. But we could tell something was wrong...he just wasn't the same happy kid. And there was the full lunch box coming home several days a week with the excuse, "I guess I forgot to eat."
Luckily, another mom inadvertently spilled the beans (thank God) in expressing her own son's dismay about how mine was being treated. At first I felt totally oblivious -- how could I not know this was happening with my kid? Then Momma Bear kicked in with a vengeance. We got the school involved and were able to put interventions in place, while at the same time empowering our son with the advice I learned from Cary Trivanovich (www.coolassemblies.com) the expert I interviewed for my article.
Trivanovich focuses much of his anti-bullying message toward victims, urging them to build their own self confidence as well as their understanding of a bully's pathetic mindset. Trivanovich reveals most bullies simply don’t have the social skills to get involved, and often lack any positive parental mentors. So because they feel it’s unacceptable to be ‘nobody,’ they become a bully to fulfill the need to be ‘somebody.’”
As he says, “There will always be bullies, but they can’t bully a child who doesn’t accept it.” This was great advice for our own son, and hopefully will help countless others.
