Machon Ink -- Editor's Cut

Volunteering to Make a Difference

2012-01-06T17:33:00.000-08:00

When it comes to volunteer work, we've all heard the saying, "20% of the people do 80% of the work, while most of the rest do nothing."

It can be said that inequity applies not just to volunteerism, but to almost every aspect of life -- in homes, communities, governments, organizations and schools. Heck, it could even be a snapshot of our voting process.

Unfortunately, the catchy phrase seems to make those who "do something" come off as martyrs, while leaving those who don't participate comforted knowing someone else will get the job done. The bottom line is, there is a great deal of "need" throughout our communities. It really does take a village. And one person can, and does, make a difference, whether the world knows about it or not.

The other day, a 7th grade peer of my son's greeted me with, "Hi -- you're the mom who helped me learn my math facts in 3rd grade." Yep, I remember that. But was I ever floored this girl did. Hmm... I'd made a difference. Better yet, I love the idea that other adults are making a difference with my own children -- in class, in sports or in life -- without me even knowing.

I've had the opportunity over the years to profile numerous charities, those ultimate volunteers who put societal needs above profit. Those truly are some of my favorite assignments. I absolutely love getting the chance to toot the horn and promote the work of some of the "20%" without the organization having to pay for it. As an added bonus, most of the time I hear back from the groups about a surge in interest from readers following the article. Talk about job satisfaction!

The most recent organization I profiled was the Vision Coalition (www.edhcommunityvision.org) in Northern California, an ambitious effort focused on educating kids about the dangers of alcohol, tobacco and drugs. The nonprofit is led by D.J. Peterson, one of the original founders of the D.A.R.E. anti-drug campaign and a 40-year veteran in the fight to keep California kids healthy.

Ironically, despite his impressive street cred, Peterson's success these days comes from staying behind the scenes. He has personally advocated for, and chased grant funding (to the tune of $3.5 million) to support, the efforts of other established anti-drug programs. Yep, he may be one of the 20%, but through his work, he's empowering another 50+% to make a difference.

I guess my point is this. I know that far more than 20% of the people out there are doing something to make a difference. They have to be. There's so much work to be done. So whether you mentor a child, give a hand up to someone in need or step in to lead a vital program, you may not get publicly counted in the 20%, but you are making a difference. So please keep doing it.

Kids and Social Media -- Protection Must Trump Privacy

2011-10-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

When my article on kids and social media first appeared (www.stylemg.com/Style/September-2011/Social-Media-Mayhem), I'm sure more than a few readers (maybe even good friends of mine) rolled their eyes in doubt.
But the more I learn about Internet usage patterns in kids and teens, and the inherent dangers lurking within the anonymous confines of laptops and smart phones, the more I wish parents would pay attention to these types of warnings and not just roll their eyes in dismissal.
When I initially interviewed Jeff Rinek, I was starstruck. Notorious for life, he was the FBI agent who ultimately got a full confession out of the "Yosemite Killer" Cary Stayner. For those unaware, it was an eerie, haunting case that transfixed viewers and readers in early 1999.
Once comfortable with Mr. Rinek's creds, I became once again entranced when he started sharing stories of the FBI underground. You know, those demonic situations that occur in your community but you never hear about them -- because they never make it to the media. It's those "almost happened" or the "we caught him before he" stories that truly left me wide awake at night for weeks.
There is no denying the majority of recent close calls in crimes against children are a direct result of social media portals, as Rinek calls them, into an adolescent's life. It's nothing less than shocking how much your child is at risk once they become wired, even if you are a "friend" of theirs on Facebook.
As adults, we are constantly made aware of new ways the Internet and social media have infiltrated our lives by tracking our purchases or suggesting our friends for us.
As parents, we need to help our kids learn to be hyper vigilant. We should parent our children on the Internet as we would in real life. Hands on and with purpose. It's one of the most important life lessons we can teach them.

Understanding Alzheimer's

2011-08-03T20:46:00.001-07:00

Growing up, I never really had any grandparents. My dad's parents had both passed away by the time I was born, as had my mom's dad. Mom's mom was in a nursing home all the way across the country, struggling with Alzheimer's. I didn't know her at all, I only remember meeting her once when I was ten, before she too passed away.

So, understandably I always felt I missed out. I never got to be around older people and experience all their jewels of wisdom and insight on life. Truly, my first experience with the golden generation came when waiting tables as a 15 and 16 year old. Without a doubt, those elderly couples that came in to Perko's Coffee Cup were my favorite customers. They were sweet, considerate, appreciative and always sincerely interested in me as a person, not just as their server.

Now that I'm all grown up, some of my most treasured friendships are with "older" neighbors and friends. Obviously my parents and older relatives top my list although I still can't really admit they are senior citizens.

Ironically, several of the articles I've written over the years have been on Seniors. One of the recent ones was on Alzheimer's...something I really knew little about. In talking to my expert, a local internist who specializes in geriatric medicine, I learned what a devastating disease Alzheimer's can be and how important it is to be able to recognize the signs of dementia vs. occasional memory loss.

As children, friends, neighbors and work associates of "older" people, it's so vital that we not discount symptoms such as:

Difficulty completing familiar tasks at home, at work or at leisure;
Confusion with time or place;
New problems with words in speaking or writing;
Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps; and
Changes in mood and personality.

While there is currently no cure for Alzheimer's, a correct diagnosis can help our loved ones receive the care and support they need and deserve. For all the treasured jewels they have provided us over the years, it's the least we can do. And pray someone does the same for us in time, right?

You Gotta Love California

2011-05-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

Now, as a lifelong Californian (except for a four-year stint in Nevada) I may be a bit biased. But last week helped cement my love for our gorgeous state and assertion that there's no place else I'd rather live.
Within a six day period, I skied, golfed and played tennis...all in perfect spring weather. Where else in the world do you get to do that?
What's better, I skied with my 78-year old dad, a lifelong Californian who is fit as a fiddle because he still jogs and works outdoors in his yard every day.
They say we are all products of our environment. Thank God my environment is filled with lots of natural vitamin D and fresh air.

Putting the Brakes on Bullies

2011-02-21T16:30:00.000-08:00

Life is full of irony. I wrote an article last month on bullying -- what it looks like these days, how it differs between boys and girls, and ways to put the brakes on verbal and physical harassment.

The topic was fresh in my mind as I had just been talking with several moms about bullying occurring between girls in a local second grade class. It amazed me to hear that mean behavior and manipulation was occurring so early in life -- in 7 year old kids! How can someone who welcomes Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny purposely cause another child pain?

Then the concept of bullying hit closer to home last week when I discovered our own middle school son was getting harassed on a daily basis. He didn't even tell us. But we could tell something was wrong...he just wasn't the same happy kid. And there was the full lunch box coming home several days a week with the excuse, "I guess I forgot to eat."

Luckily, another mom inadvertently spilled the beans (thank God) in expressing her own son's dismay about how mine was being treated. At first I felt totally oblivious -- how could I not know this was happening with my kid? Then Momma Bear kicked in with a vengeance. We got the school involved and were able to put interventions in place, while at the same time empowering our son with the advice I learned from Cary Trivanovich (www.coolassemblies.com) the expert I interviewed for my article.

Trivanovich focuses much of his anti-bullying message toward victims, urging them to build their own self confidence as well as their understanding of a bully's pathetic mindset. Trivanovich reveals most bullies simply don’t have the social skills to get involved, and often lack any positive parental mentors. So because they feel it’s unacceptable to be ‘nobody,’ they become a bully to fulfill the need to be ‘somebody.’”

As he says, “There will always be bullies, but they can’t bully a child who doesn’t accept it.” This was great advice for our own son, and hopefully will help countless others.

Introducing the New Weekday Warriors

2010-11-16T16:29:00.000-08:00

I recently wrote an article on Child Obesity (a staggering one in three of today's kids is either overweight or obese) and the need to get our kids moving down the path to fitness.
Writing the piece made me think about how the drive to keep fit has changed over the years - for both adults and kids.
Back in the 1980's we witnessed the birth of Weekend Warriors. Those were the fitness-focused working adults and students who were so busy during the week that they condensed their week long exercise routine into a two-day blitz.
Unfortunately, the heavy bursts of cardio activity following five days of lethargy often resulted in injuries and pure exhaustion come Monday morning.
Today, from my own perspective as a working parent, I'd say that trend is still very much alive, but its format has done a true 180.
Many of us these days find our weekends so jam packed with kids' sports, travel, family obligations and activities, we have little time and/or motivation to exercise. Instead, we try and take advantage of random windows of opportunity during the week to sneak in spurts of physical activity.
The other week was my own perfect example of Weekday Warrior mentality.
After school drop off on Monday, I walked 4 miles (1 hour) before a business meeting and full day of projects. On Tuesday, I golfed 9 holes (1 hour, 45 min) between work deadlines. On Wednesday, I played 1 1/2 hour of tennis before school pick up and a client conference call. On Thursday, I jammed in a 45 minute work out at the gym between volunteering at school and a lunch meeting. And then on Friday, I could barely move. My shoulders and neck were in crisis and my head throbbed as I tried to pay bills and gear up for date night and then the weekend's usual frenzy.
Did I achieve the American Heart Association's recommended 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week? Yes. Was I feeling healthy and fit? Um, no. Was I smelling like a daisy all week? Not hardly. Am I going to do the same thing again next week and the week after? Probably.
I figure whether we are weekend or weekday warriors, as long as we prioritize some semblance of a fitness routine for ourselves and our kids, we're helping reverse the disturbing obesity trend and ensure a future of healthier generations.

Preserving Precious Family Memories (no, I don't mean scrapbooking)

2010-09-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

Several months ago, I wrote an article on the importance of genealogy and preserving family histories. Taking the time to capture the past seems to be a lost art that slips away with each generation.
In the good old days, families would sit around after dinner or during holiday gatherings and listen to family elders tell stories of the family's rich traditions and heritage -- why they came to America, how they arrived and from what countries, etc.
Sadly, in this day of multiple electronic distractions, opportunities to verbally convey history from one generation to the next are rare at best. In turn, if those memories and stories aren't somehow documented, they disappear with the passing of each generation.
In helping my 5th grader conduct research for his recent American Colonies report, I was fascinated when my Dad shared with me a single handwritten note from my grandmother outlining our own family heritage. It simply was a series of names and dates with no apparent meaning. Yet working with her note and the amazing online resources available today, my son and I were able to trace our family all the way back to two passengers of the Mayflower, who, once in America, married and are solely responsible for our family today.
That's pretty cool stuff, particularly when you see the light bulb go off in your 10 year old's head as he's able to make a personal connection to the "ancient history" topic he's studying.
That discovery inspired me to take on a bigger project, becoming our immediate family's historian. I've started the process by interviewing my Dad, in person and over the phone, about his early family memories, his time in the Air Force, the years he and my Mom lived in Morocco, what life was like before kids and anything else that comes up.
Carving out time for us to talk has proven to be a unique bonding experience. I've already learned poignant and funny details about my Dad I never knew, and probably still wouldn't unless I'd taken the time to ask.

Recent Industry Awards

2010-03-29T14:29:00.001-07:00

Machon Ink recently was recognized with three awards of excellence for Feature Writing at the Sacramento Public Relations Association (SPRA) 2009 Cappie Awards. It was a nice night of celebration and catching up with peers at the Citizen Hotel and Grange Restaurant!

A Family That Plays Together, Stays Together

2009-10-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love it when the most obvious solution is also the most simple.
I recently wrote a piece about the importance of family nights. The concept is something I grew up with and understand well. From as far back as I can remember, in our house, Sundays were family days -- reserved just for our family.
We went to church in the morning, had our big "dinner" around 1 p.m., and every Sunday night was Game Night. (Sorry no, not Sunday night football.) My parents, big brother and I would gather around the "game table," in the corner of the living room we rarely entered, to play board games or card games or do a huge jigsaw together. The tradition remains one of my favorite childhood memories. I had no idea my parents were secretly and strategically strengthening our family bond at the time. But they were.
The Northern California marriage and family therapist I interviewed for the article, Kim Fredrickson (www.kimfredrickson.com) believes that set-aside Family Nights are more important these days than ever before. "In our society, everyone is so busy doing so many different things, that there isn't time to connect as a family," she explains. She says that without emotional connection, children tend to rebel and act out more frequently. Makes sense, doesn't it? Kids need a connection to help ground them when life gets a little dicey or scary.
Best of all, the solution is free and easy. Family Time can be anything you want it to be. Around the Machon house, we have dance nights, where we ALL crank up the music and bounce around the house (thank God for window coverings), or movie nights with popcorn, or family walks around the neighborhood. There are so many other ideas out there -- playing WII or Playstation as a family, cooking dinner together, going bowling, etc.
Fredrickson says the key is to make it fun. And to make it a priority. As she says, "Kids spell love T-I-M-E."

Disaster Preparation Just a Widget Away

2009-08-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

Next month, September, is Disaster Preparedness Month and it's a great time for families to assess their own readiness to handle a natural or man made emergency (www.ready.gov).
One of the things that's always concerned me about preparing for the unknown is how exactly we'll get notified or alerted to impending danger.
What if there isn't a billowing smoke cloud to signal a fast-approaching wildfire? What if I'm not in my car, listening to the radio announcement of a hazmat-related road closure? What if the TV isn't on (which it isn't usually during the day in the office) to show the severe weather alert?
Fortunately, researching a recent article helped put my mind at ease a bit.
Most nat'l agencies (and local jurisdictions too) now offer a host of alert options -- from old-school mass phone notifications to Twitter posts, widgets and Facebook updates. Emergency warnings and information instantaneously can be sent to cell phones and laptops anywhere.
The trick, as I see it, is for residents to take the initiative to sign up for, or subscribe to, these alerts. It only takes seconds to do, and next to having an emergency supply kit ready, could mean the difference between being prepared, and not.

"You're not cheap, but you're easy."

2009-06-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the greatest compliments you get in life arrive unexpectedly and often in disguise. Like the mom at school who said to me the other day, "You always seem so happy and positive." She doesn't know it, but that little observation gave me an incredible boost of energy when I actually was somewhat emotionally depleted. It's amazing what power simple words can yield.
In talking with one of my editors last week, he casually lamented about obstacles that had come up in putting his current magazine issue to bed. I dutifully asked if there had been any problems with the articles I submitted weeks before.
He laughed, "No, you're easy. You're not cheap, but you're easy." After a moment, I realized that I can absolutely live with that assessment. Particularly at this stage in my life when I'm continually trying to balance professional goals with family and personal needs, that's a huge compliment.
My time is valuable, and I work hard to make sure everything I do is done efficiently. While that doesn't always happen in my personal life, it's a great comfort to know my professional associates consider me "easy, but not cheap."

Social Networking for the Ages

2009-03-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

In researching an article for a national pub pitch associated with social networking, I've been truly amazed at the explosive popularity of social networking within the "older" set. I knew the idea was gaining popularity, but had no idea to what extent.
Those of us who are, let's say, 30+, have discovered a convenient way to stay connected with family, friends and associates through Facebook, Plaxo, LinkedIn, Twitter and other applications. But contrary to critics (my husband is one), the appeal is not simply to have an online brag book to share pics of our kids or attractive poses of ourselves at our best. These sites have become an ingenuous way for businesspeople to market themselves, not just their firms, in order to stand out from the masses. And in the competitive job market we have now, being able to put a face with a name may be all it takes to break through corporate barriers.
From my own perspective as a business owner, I'd be a great testimonial for the value of social networking. I've received new clients through both LinkedIn and Facebook -- people who had no idea who I was, contacting me and eventually hiring me.
Signing up with LinkedIn was a no-brainer -- it's essentially an online resume'. But, I'll admit, I went into Facebook, kicking and screaming. Like many, I believed it was a pathetic way to connect with long-forgotten buddies and associates -- who has the time for that? Only after attending a seminar by international social networking guru Peter Shankman, who assured me Facebook would be the business networking wave of the future, did I jump on board. Thanks, Peter! I think.
For now, my biggest resistance to social networking seems to be the struggle to keep my personal life and business persona separate. My current and future clients really don't need to read my latest chicks-night-out musings to know I'll do a fantastic job for them. And because of that, I still haven't linked my company website with my Facebook page... and may never do so.

A giant Hershey bar for a 6-year old's snack. Really?

2009-02-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

You know, days like this remind me that no matter how imperfect I may be as a mom, I know I'm better than some. It's a small, petty comfort. But it's mine, and I'm keeping it.
Volunteering in Kindergarten class this morning, I about fell over when one of the little boys pulled out a giant Hershey bar for his "snack" at 9:45 a.m. Not just the big size vs. the Halloween mini size. I'm talking about a novelty, 5x8-inch, thick, hunk-0-chocolate.
Now, I'd love to believe that little rascal snuck it out of the pantry when mom wasn't looking, but the sad truth is, it was given to him. Being less than politically correct, I verified that mere fact myself.
It's no secret nutrition education for children starts at birth. They develop likes and dislikes for a variety of foods and textures early on, refining their palates as they reach school age. And when it comes to nutritious snack foods, our choices are by no means limited to fruits and vegetables. There are so many wonderful healthy snacks available these days, many without all the yukky artificial food colors, flavors and preservatives.
It just isn't that hard to help a child make the right food choices -- or make it for him, while you still can. It's really one of the most important life lessons we can teach, and demonstrate to, our kids.

Keeping Children Safe

2009-01-13T15:23:00.000-08:00

I've always said that certain writing assignments come my way for a reason. Well, I just finished researching and writing an article on preventing child abductions -- and I can't get the concept out of my mind.
One of the biggest "a-ha" moments I had during my interviews was hearing that the old "stranger danger" safety teachings are obsolete and potentially deadly to our children. What? National safety experts say 75% of child abductions are perpetrated by someone familiar to the child or family. So telling kids to avoid strangers doesn't cut it anymore.
IF your child was to be abducted, it would likely be by someone you live near, work with, interact with at the gym, or is a friend of a friend. The fact that your child recognizes that person is what puts him or her in the greatest danger. That's downright frightening.
So just how do parents warn children about "everyone" not just "strangers" without creating paranoid and distrusting little people?
The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children promotes a great DVD called "Stranger Safety." It's kid-friendly and a great way to empower kids with tools, not fear. Check it out -- you can never be too educated or too prepared when it comes to child safety.

The Truth About Election 2008

2008-11-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

Today is a big day for our country. For the first time in eight years, a new president will be selected to take office in January.
But I can't help but feel discouraged as I do every election.
My son came home from school today saying, "I don't know why anyone would vote for McCain."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because Nathan (a friend in class) says he's going to outlaw video games for every kid under 15 years old."
Having previously been in the political consulting business for a number of years, I've become numb to the contextual distortions that occur on both sides of a campaign during political warfare.
"You can't believe everything you hear, honey," was my immediate response.
What an awful thing to have to tell a child.

Red Sox Rock!!!

2008-10-16T21:33:00.000-07:00

OK, I swore I'd never get political here. And it sort of goes against my "extend the life of a story" goal with this blog... but seriously! Back 7 runs to 0 to win it and stay in the series???? That, my friends, is why baseball is America's past time. Never, ever give up.

Muralist's Donation Is a Dream Come True

2008-09-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

I was contacted by a mom I interviewed back in January for an article I wrote on the Faces of Childhood Cancer www.machonink.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/faces2.pdf. Truly, the most sobering piece I've ever researched and written.
The parents of these children with life-threatening diseases are absolute heroes in my book. I'm not sure I could match their strength if challenged.
This mom wanted to update me on her adorable daughter's progress in her fight against Leukemia as well as let me know about an awesome muralist who was donating her talents to adorn the walls of a Sacramento-area pediatric cancer clinic.
In talking with the artist, Niki Gamboa, www.nikiart.net, I was so inspired by her spirit. She told me she was actually interested in starting a nonprofit business that would be devoted to helping brighten the lives of those in need. I wish Niki all the luck and all the appreciation she deserves.

Parents on a mission make a difference for kids with autism

2008-08-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

Last April I had the honor of preparing a story on autism, profiling several families and advocates who are fighting for awareness of "unconventional" biomedical treatments that actually are helping kids recover from this wide-spread epidemic.
I pitched the story to one of the magazines I write for, SierraStyle Publishing, and they agreed it was a subject readers would want to learn more about and understand.
Vicky Long, one of the moms I interviewed, and her husband Brian, have since formed a Talk About Autism support group for families http://www.lakehillschurch.org/talkaboutautism/. The group meets monthly in their community, at Lakehills Covenant Church, and covers topics from the special diets that help kids heal physically, to advancements in treatment options that parents won't hear about from their pediatricians.
My hope is to get more national exposure to such an important and timely discussion, so families facing the challenges of spectrum disorders have the benefit of hope on their side.